Baby + Mama: Two Month Update

I can't believe it has been two months since Juniper has been out of my womb! I learn something new about her everyday. I have noticed that she is getting so big. My little girl is growing up!

Mama update: I've noticed my hormones are leveling out, but I am much better than last month. I am looking forward to being more active. I started out with walks during my first month and now I am ready for the next challenge of implementing resistance training using my body weight. I am mostly exercising 30 minutes at a time during one of her naps. I don't want to push myself too much, but I definitely need to let out some energy. I am also more cognizant of my snacking and making healthier choices. On a side note, I started reading The Happy Sleeper, which has been so helpful with figuring out babies and their sleep. As first time mom, this has been my bible to getting more sleep for Justin and I and helping Juniper find her own ways to soothe herself with out crying.  Another thing I have been trying to do for myself is illustrating and diy-ing for the sake of getting away from the monotony of baby life.  Don't get me wrong, I love baby life, but it can get overwhelming at times, so I try to normalize things by finding seeking healthy outlets.

I love her two month photo. It is quite ironic that she chose a neutral face given the message I put on the board.  However, you can see all of Juniper's smiles that I caught on my phone throughout the month. She definitely has different types of smiles. 

Juniper update:

1. Juniper finally likes baths now and lifts her booty when she needs to be wiped for a change: I no longer go into panic mode when giving her a bath from her screaming her head off. She now enjoys baths. We don't keep her in there very long... maybe five minutes max.  Also, I gave her a bath alone for the first time. This was a huge stretch for me because I was terrified to give her a bath. On another note, I haven't quite found the right the bath products to use. I'm looking to find something natural, cruelty-free, and has a natural smelling scent (if possible). Lately, I have been loving this bath oil to massage her.
2. She is making all sorts of baby sounds: Ugh, I can't get over how obsessed I am with her little noises. I never thought I would be that mama who is completely smitten with her baby. I try not to make her the focal point of the conversation when people come over.
3. Juniper and Justin enjoy listening to David Bowie in the morning: Justin grew up watching Labyrinth and will play this soundtrack while singing to her in the morning.
4. She is full of smiles, especially before she eats: This is the cutest thing. She will often have the biggest smile in the morning and before she eats. She also smiles after she spits up. I am not sure why that happens, haha.
5. She often fights going to sleep: Juniper has so much energy and I am finding new ways of putting her down.  She was loving the Hevea pacifier, but now she just spits it out. Perhaps, she is thinking, "Why are you giving me this to suck on? It doesn't give me any food."  Also, for the first time, I was able to put her down sleepy and she fell asleep all on her own!

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Baby + Mama: One Month Update

When I found out I was pregnant (sitting on couch watching Narcos and wanting to pass out at 8pm with husband telling him, "I think I'm pregnant" and him responding back, "yeah, I think you are pregnant too"), I became flooded with so much information that I kind of just shut down and didn't want to think about all the changes my body would go through or the list of items I would need to get for the baby's arrival.  Needless to say, we kept the pregnancy to ourselves for about three to four months because we wanted to bask in the idea of just keeping it to ourselves for a while (similar to our engagement).  One thing I was for sure about was documenting how our baby would change from month to month. However, for the first month, I wanted to document her changes per week.

I thought it would be a cool idea to take a polaroid for every week that Juniper has been on this planet leading up to her one month. Since most pictures are digitally stored these days, I want Juniper to have tangible copies of her first weeks of life. I also purchased the pricy board by Letterfolk to announce her growth.  However, I found a more inexpensive one here.

Juniper Update:

1. She loves to eat: We always look for cues of when she is full, like falling asleep or when she slows down on her swallows.  Right now, we are feeding her a combo of my breast milk and Holle Stage 1. We love that this formula is German and organic. It has really high ratings and is gentle on her sensitive stomach.  I sadly do not produce enough milk to satiate her hearty appetite, so we have to supplement. I am taking a plethora of supplements to aid in my production (will talk about later).
2. She loves the morning: After her morning feed, Juniper loves to chat, stare, and sometimes smile at Justin and I. 
3. She is not a big fan of being changed or washed: Juniper often cried when she was getting changed. Now, that she is a little over a month, she is crying when she is wet and wants us to change her.  However, sometimes she surprises us with projectile presents, which can be a bit messy.
4. She likes skin-to-skin time: She is at the most ease when Justin and I are carrying her on us during the day. She gets the best nap this way. Eventually, when she is asleep, I'll transfer her to her bassinet, so I can get some stuff done.
5. She grunts her way out of her swaddle: This is the most funniest thing about Juniper. She grunts. I think of it as a form of communication. She doesn't like to get swaddled, but becomes calm when she is in it.  So, she will often grunt her way out of the swaddle like a magician.
6. She loves falling asleep to music during the day: Juniper particularly likes to fall asleep to Mac Demarco and Real Estate.

Mama Update:

My friend told me that she refers to the first thirty days of a baby's life as "30 days of darkness." I thought this was so funny and ironic. Although bringing home my baby was so exhilarating, it was very much a rollercoaster of emotions.  Friends and family want to visit, your body is out of sorts, one minute your happy and the next minute you are crying over a commercial, an so much more. My husband and I googled a ton of stuff during her first month and still continue to do so.  Breastfeeding and pumping is a lot of work. It really is no joke. Not only was my body healing in my lower regions, but I would get hot sweats at night because my hormones were regulating too. I do not recall reading about this detail anywhere. I made sure to eat warm foods and to avoid cold foods as much as possible (extremely difficult). The book that helped aid me through my postpardum diet is The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother.  My doula recommended this book and it has recipes, anecdotal stories, and lists of foods to get you through the first forty days.

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Juniper Wolf's Birth Story

Being pregnant for nine months, laboring, delivering a baby, and caring for your bundle of joy is no joke. I feel like a mom superhero.  Our bodies undergo drastic changes to bring life into this earth. I have boundless respect for all women who decided to embark on the adventure of bringing life into this world.  I know people say, "Having a baby is life changing, blah, blah, blah..." and I concur.  

I was lucky to have a relatively easy pregnancy. I worked up to 36 weeks pregnant and I am so glad that I was able to take a month off of work to really take some time out for myself. I ventured out to eat at my favorite local spot alone like Kitchen Mouse and of course getting donuts from Donut Friend. I felt lonely at times, but also empowered that I could go out and just spend some me time before our baby arrival. 

On the other hand, my labor story was the most difficult experience of my life. I had prodromal labor and do not wish that upon my greatest enemy. Basically, I was in labor for five days before the baby came. I would experience contractions throughout the day that were very sporadic and the most intense at night. My contractions were so bad at night that I had to sleep at a ninety degree angle on a pillow throne. I think going to my acupuncturist started my laboring process on a Friday. I remember telling Justin on Saturday that I wanted to go the beach and we went to Playa Del Rey while I was in labor. My contractions were manageable. We even did some hat shopping for him.  However, by Monday, I was in tons of pain, but wasn't sure if I was ready for the hospital. Our doula came over and walked Justin and I through some laboring techniques that we learned in her classes. I knew that I didn't want to drive to the hospital only to find out that I wasn't dilated enough. So, we toughed it out at home as much as we could.

We drove to St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica on the Monday night. I came to the hospital four centimeters dilated.  At this point, I had lacked an eight hour sleep in a week. I was kind of scared because I knew that once the baby was here I would be even more sleep deprived. Anyways, we worked diligently with our doula to make me dilate more and by the morning I was six centimeters dilated. The doc broke my water hoping things would expedite for the day; however, after more laboring techniques all day, I was still at six centimeters. My body and mental state was completely depleted. I was not getting a full nights sleep for week leading up to my laboring and everyone, including Justin, my doula, and my doctor, suggested I get an epidural to sleep through the rest of my dilation and to wake up and deliver our baby. It was not in my birth plan to use any drugs.  So, you can only imagine that I cried, a lot. I felt defeated, but at the same time I felt like a woman warrior. Not only did I labor for five days, but I also worked drug free up to six centimeters.  It was imperative for me to get the epidural in order to finally deliver the baby without needing to have a c-section.  

After waking up from my three hour quasi dream-like state nap, I woke up ready to push. Two hours later (felt more thirty minutes), Juniper Wolf Hamilton was in our arms. 

Next time, I will remember to:

1. Stress intermittent monitoring: I had this written in my birth plan, but the devices to track the baby kept falling off my belly because she was so low in my pelvis. I asked for the wireless one, but it was not working well.  So, I will definitely stress this more.  I think I was unable to speak up because I literally felt like I was on drugs the entire time I was laboring. It was a pain to have all these things monitoring me, while trying to relax through the process.

2. Labor as much as I can at home: Even though I was four centimeters dilated when arriving to the hospital, I felt like I could have labored longer at home. I would have preferred to be at home up to six centimeters as opposed to staying the hospital laboring.

3. Possibly look for a hospital with a tub: I wish my hospital had a tub. They had a shower, which was good, but I relax more when I am taking a bath. Thank goodness they had a birthing ball.

4. Pump as soon as possible: I wish I would have pumped the minute I had the chance. Since Juniper had jaundice, I didn't see her for ten hours after the initial 24 hrs. I was really stressed and sad about this. I wish a lactation consultant would have insisted that I pump. However, everyone was reassured that my milk supply would come in. My milk supply came; however, the production was slower and lower than I expected.

5. Limit the number of visitors once I am home: This was a problem. Justin and I did not want anyone to visit us for two days once we got home, but that went out the door and family came as if it were a party. It is not a party when you deliver a baby. Sure, it's really exciting and people are happy for you, but I needed to rest. It is so important to rest and for things to be stress free when you get home. Family and friends need to respect your wishes with this. For me, I just wanted some alone time to decompress; although, I know everyone is different.