Being pregnant for nine months, laboring, delivering a baby, and caring for your bundle of joy is no joke. I feel like a mom superhero. Our bodies undergo drastic changes to bring life into this earth. I have boundless respect for all women who decided to embark on the adventure of bringing life into this world. I know people say, "Having a baby is life changing, blah, blah, blah..." and I concur.
I was lucky to have a relatively easy pregnancy. I worked up to 36 weeks pregnant and I am so glad that I was able to take a month off of work to really take some time out for myself. I ventured out to eat at my favorite local spot alone like Kitchen Mouse and of course getting donuts from Donut Friend. I felt lonely at times, but also empowered that I could go out and just spend some me time before our baby arrival.
On the other hand, my labor story was the most difficult experience of my life. I had prodromal labor and do not wish that upon my greatest enemy. Basically, I was in labor for five days before the baby came. I would experience contractions throughout the day that were very sporadic and the most intense at night. My contractions were so bad at night that I had to sleep at a ninety degree angle on a pillow throne. I think going to my acupuncturist started my laboring process on a Friday. I remember telling Justin on Saturday that I wanted to go the beach and we went to Playa Del Rey while I was in labor. My contractions were manageable. We even did some hat shopping for him. However, by Monday, I was in tons of pain, but wasn't sure if I was ready for the hospital. Our doula came over and walked Justin and I through some laboring techniques that we learned in her classes. I knew that I didn't want to drive to the hospital only to find out that I wasn't dilated enough. So, we toughed it out at home as much as we could.
We drove to St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica on the Monday night. I came to the hospital four centimeters dilated. At this point, I had lacked an eight hour sleep in a week. I was kind of scared because I knew that once the baby was here I would be even more sleep deprived. Anyways, we worked diligently with our doula to make me dilate more and by the morning I was six centimeters dilated. The doc broke my water hoping things would expedite for the day; however, after more laboring techniques all day, I was still at six centimeters. My body and mental state was completely depleted. I was not getting a full nights sleep for week leading up to my laboring and everyone, including Justin, my doula, and my doctor, suggested I get an epidural to sleep through the rest of my dilation and to wake up and deliver our baby. It was not in my birth plan to use any drugs. So, you can only imagine that I cried, a lot. I felt defeated, but at the same time I felt like a woman warrior. Not only did I labor for five days, but I also worked drug free up to six centimeters. It was imperative for me to get the epidural in order to finally deliver the baby without needing to have a c-section.
After waking up from my three hour quasi dream-like state nap, I woke up ready to push. Two hours later (felt more thirty minutes), Juniper Wolf Hamilton was in our arms.
Next time, I will remember to:
1. Stress intermittent monitoring: I had this written in my birth plan, but the devices to track the baby kept falling off my belly because she was so low in my pelvis. I asked for the wireless one, but it was not working well. So, I will definitely stress this more. I think I was unable to speak up because I literally felt like I was on drugs the entire time I was laboring. It was a pain to have all these things monitoring me, while trying to relax through the process.
2. Labor as much as I can at home: Even though I was four centimeters dilated when arriving to the hospital, I felt like I could have labored longer at home. I would have preferred to be at home up to six centimeters as opposed to staying the hospital laboring.
3. Possibly look for a hospital with a tub: I wish my hospital had a tub. They had a shower, which was good, but I relax more when I am taking a bath. Thank goodness they had a birthing ball.
4. Pump as soon as possible: I wish I would have pumped the minute I had the chance. Since Juniper had jaundice, I didn't see her for ten hours after the initial 24 hrs. I was really stressed and sad about this. I wish a lactation consultant would have insisted that I pump. However, everyone was reassured that my milk supply would come in. My milk supply came; however, the production was slower and lower than I expected.
5. Limit the number of visitors once I am home: This was a problem. Justin and I did not want anyone to visit us for two days once we got home, but that went out the door and family came as if it were a party. It is not a party when you deliver a baby. Sure, it's really exciting and people are happy for you, but I needed to rest. It is so important to rest and for things to be stress free when you get home. Family and friends need to respect your wishes with this. For me, I just wanted some alone time to decompress; although, I know everyone is different.